MiraCosta College Business Department

DECEMBER 24, 2011: U.S. Federal agents arrested Santa Claus earlier today at the North Pole. 

The United States Department of Fish and Wildlife has arrested Santa Claus, an elusive figure with many aliases (e.g., St. Nicholas). On the morning of 24 December, 150 heavily armed Fish and Wildlife special agents raided Claus’ North Pole compound, seized several tons of exotic woods forbidden by the Lacey Act, arrested Santa Claus and a female accomplice identified only as Mrs. Claus, and liberated thousands of diminutive slave labourers known only as “Elves”.

Claus has been charged with multiple counts of money laundering, illegal exportation of currency, illegally importing into the United States toys made of contraband–rare woods, ivory and other banned substances. He has also been charged with violations of slave labor and child labor laws, hundreds of patent and trademark violations, and illegally entering and exiting the United States.

Indeed, Fish and Wildlife agents also seized an unidentified aircraft called a “sleigh” which had numerous secret compartments holding the contraband. Fish and Wildlife agents charged Mr. Claus with animal cruelty with regard to the caribou that he used to launch this “sleigh”. 

Special Agent Hugo Smith said, “We arrived just in the nick of time. A moment later, and the caribou would have launched the sleigh and Claus would have escaped with the illegal materials. By now, he would be in the United States, breaking into people’s houses and selling this stuff.”

The United States Department of Immigration and the Internal Revenue Service have also had their eyes on Mr. Claus. An immigration official who also attended the raid said that they were able to obtain several dozen passports. He said, “It seems that this Santa Claus character has a different name in every country–his EU passport says, ‘Father Christmas’ and his Canadian passport says, ‘Père Noël’. We have, however, determined with certainty that Santa Claus is a United States citizen.”

Apparently Claus worked in Hollywood during the 1940s and 50s making autobiographical films, such as Miracle on 34^th Street. During that time he applied for and received U.S. citizenship. 

According to United States law, all United States Citizens are required to pay taxes to the IRS and to report any foreign bank accounts. Failure to obey these filing requirements may result in civil and criminal penalties including imprisonment.

The Obama administration declared that they were very pleased with the news.. ”It is about time,” Obama said from his Hawaiian retreat, “that the United States returned those who have fled the country just because they don’t feel like paying their fair share anymore.”

The Republican candidate for president, Ron Paul criticized the raid, “The United States has neither the authority nor the right to go into another country and enforce its laws. Santa Claus is a citizen of the North Pole and it is overreach for us to go there and arrest him.”

Also running for president, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich responded to Paul, “The United States must reserve the right to arrest terrorists and to violate the rule of law in order to provide safety for the People of the United States.”

Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada said that his government did everything that they could to help the United States, even to the point of allowing the use of Canadian air space. ”We are cooperating with the good faith efforts of the United States to eliminate terrorists in order to maintain the safety and security of all Canadians.”

1. Responding Like a Trained Monkey. Every productivity expert in the world will tell you to check email at periodic intervals — say, every 90 minutes — rather than clicking “refresh” like a Pavlovian mutt. Of course, almost no one listens, because studies have shown email’s “variable interval reinforcement schedule” is basically a slot machine for your brain. But spending a month away — and only checking email weekly — showed me how little really requires immediate response. In fact, nothing. A 90 minute wait won’t kill anyone, and will allow you to accomplish something substantive during your workday.

While you’re planning your expansion, you’re going to find that talent is in short supply, especially in these five areas. More info at….

This fall semester Jill Malone’s digital imaging & illustration class (MAT 170) had the opportunity to design a wine bottle label for a local winery in the Del Mar/Carmel Valley area.  Del Mar Mesa Vineyard is a private boutique winery that often donates wine to auctions and fund-raising events for such organization as the San Diego Alzheimer’s Foundation. Marsha Mooradian, owner of Del Mar Mesa Vineyard, spoke to Jill Malone’s digital imaging class in October about designing a professional label for the hundreds of Maison de Mooradian bottles of wine that the Mooradians produce annually. Jill’s students immediately latched onto the project, and the results were exceptional. The Mooradians were extremely pleased with the students’ designs, and selecting the top three was no easy task. Here are the three designs that were ultimately selected. Can you determine which design won first, second and third place? Check out the labels at http://www.miracosta.edu/home/tseverance/documents/malonewinelabelproject.pdf

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By Nora Dunn, Wisebread

A while back, Jeff wrote a great post on surprising ways to reuse foil, such as sharpening scissors and knives, reducing static cling, and repairing stripped threads. Here are 36 more ways to use the shiny stuff!

Note — make sure you reuse, rewash, and recycle your foil whenever possible. This helps your money go further and reduces unnecessary waste. Also, instead of ripping off a sheet larger than you need, cut your foil to suit your exact size requirements (this has the added benefit of sharpening your scissors too).

Kitchen

Foil is usually kept in the kitchen, so let’s start there. It’s good for so much more than you might think!

1. Storing Food

The reason foil is good for food storage is because it creates a total barrier against light, oxygen, odors, flavors, moisture, and bacteria. Fats — for example — won’t oxidize and become rancid. (See also: Simple Strategies for Using Your Leftover Food)

 More at…http://www.wisebread.com/another-36-uses-for-tin-foil?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+wisebread+%28Wise+Bread%29

Without question, your router is one of the most useful and convenient tech devices you own. But many of you probably view it as one of the biggest sources of frustration, anxiety, and downright anger. The fact is, setting up a home router—and keeping it running—is still more complicated and demanding of tech knowledge than the average user would like it to be. MORE AT…http://www.pcmag.com/slideshow/story/262550/how-to-fix-your-wireless-internet-connection-problems